sleepythug:

can I get nutrition facts on that pussy?

pizzaforpresident:

OH MY GOD

My boss just texted me asking to come into work at 4:30 in the morning and I threw my phone down and was like “you’re such a faggot I fucking hate you” and then I heard the Siri confirmation noise and I picked up my phone and

money:

weed

hitlersasshole:

Moment of silence for all the kids who don’t have a dad to celebrate today with and shoutout to the hardworking moms who raised kids alone.

flying-blades:

i just wanna touch butts

wassupcuz:

Thanks boo much appreciated

homosassy:

the dumbest thing is when parents say “this isnt how i raised you” like ?????? yes it really is you literally raised me and here i am

im not even sassy im just an asshole